A Box of Letters : 1

Quotes :24

Letters from Home : 23

12-III-93

Today started out bad.  My clock slowed down during the night, and when I woke up is said 6:15, the time I alwats get up.  So I got dressed and went into the kitchen, sat down, poured my coffee, and when I looked up, it was 5 past 7!  No one had bothered to wake me up.  So I grabbed my backpack and ran to school without breakfast, brushing my teeth, truly waking up, and my sweater.. Wen I got into my class I was all shaky and flustered.  It was horrible.  And I didn't have any money to get anything to eat at recess.  Today was the first day that I really didn't understand what was going on in school.  I tried, but I just couldn't figure out what was going on.  Sitting in a classroom all morning when you can't understand what is being said can be quite boring.  But now that I'm through complaining (for now) I'll write to remember how my day got better.  When I sat down to lunch, Edgar handed me a stack of letters (8).  I love letters.  And, in a month, I'd only gotten 2.  I got a crosscountry newsletter from Mr. D, 2 letters from Clodagh, 2 from Jesse, 2 from my mom and a beautiful card from Christopher.  I love mail, and it is so wonderful to hear from everyone.  I was mentioned in the Cross Country newsletter, which I thought was pretty cool.  I was referred to as a promising star in the '94 season, and today I ran a 8 minute mile (+10 sec) which I'm quite proud of.  I'm going to run under a 6 minute mile before I leave.  That is only cutting off 30 seconds per lap, which I know I can do with more training.  I have the desire, and I almost have the strength, it's just the endurance I need and that comes with time.  Long distance is 95% mental, and 5% hard work.  I have the time for the hard work, and I'm working on the mental.  Dad would be so proud of me if could be awesome in cross country.  I want to make Varsity.

Another thing I did today that put me in a good mood, is that I made photocopies of different pages in my book "Hope for the Flowers" and I made beautiful stationary to write rad letters on.  At least I think it's cool, and I had fun making it.  It is such a wonderful book, and this is a good way to share it with others.  I finished my day with ham and cheese empanadas.  Yummy!  Not very healthy, but they taste so damned good, I love them.  Juicy yummy good.  On Sunday I;m going to Coronel Oviedo where all the AFS kids and their families from all the surrounding cities are meeting.  Hopefully I'll see lots of kids from orientation.

buen dia

First Rain : 22

 

March 16, 1994

I read hope for the flowers this evening.  I think it is the first time since the Sierra Club hike.  I love the story so much every time I read it.  It is so beautiful.  So simple.  I hope it always remains special to me.  God, let no one ruin my beautiful story, let me always believe in the beauty of the butterfly.

I watched the coming of a storm today.  It was amazing.  Randy was so right when he spoke of the beauty of the powers of nature.  The great storm, fires, wind, it is all beautiful.  Mysterious. The clouds rolled past so quickly overhead, thunder moaned and the sky lighted uo.  Fern branches blew above me, and the sweet smell of the first drops of rain.  I was amazed.  I only wish my view hadn't been blocked by buildings, I wanted to see, but I could not.  Into every night a little rain must fall but at least I hope my rain is always as magnificent and beautiful as this rain.

"You are my friend...forever."  Smiling Olga

One Month Anniversary: 21

March 14, '94
I can't believe a whole month is already gone.  I feel like I've been gone for ever, yet the time seems to be passing by so quickly.  I feel like it;s slipping away faster than I can really enjoy it.  I need to work on my Spanish.  I should be much farther advanced than this.  I'm not trying.  I need to study past tense, then start learning future tense.  And my vocab is pathetic.  I'm being so lazy, it is such a waste.  Set goals.

-- 6  miles a week for rest of month
-- I 8 min mile
-- Practice verbs 1/l 1/2 hour ev. school day
--Practice guitar a/l 1/2 hour ev. day

It's easy and it's not more than you can expect of yourself, Robin, don't waste your time.  You can expect so much of yourself, you are the one who achieves the greatest of all, amaze yourself!  Practice the Guarani, become cultures.  Culture has given birth, don;t let the child be retarded, help it to mature.

Playing With Numbers at School : 20

March 14, 1994
this is my 5, 854th day
as of 10:00 AM I have lived
55, 251,960 seconds
If I were living on Mercury
I would be 68.5 years old

second
1 min -- 60
1 hour -- 3,660
1 day -- 87,840
1 month (28) -- 2,459,520
1 year -- 32, 061,600


*you know I find school very interesting

A Song : 19

I'm a little Indian Girl
No one knows my name
I'm a little Indian Girl
No one knows my name
I'm sitting in the street alone
Yet dancing in my mind
In my mind I can dance with the flowers
With the ladybugs
and caterpillars
They carry me around
I wear a daisy crown
The flowers love me
and call me
by my name

Commentary:  A few months before I left for Paraguay my mom bought me a beautiful classical guitar. I brought it with me to Paraguay, a very good idea, as it gave me something to do.  It was also a bit embarrassing as people assumed I was awesome if I brought my guitar along and they kept asking me to play (like at my birthday party) but really I was just a beginner.  This is my first attempt at song writing.  It seems my own isolation made me think of the poor street children I use to see in Mexico City...

Settling In with some Teenage Drama : 18

7-III-94

I'm so excited, I'm in such a good mood, today is the first day in a long time that I wasn't bored!  Nothing interesting happened, I just had something to do whenever I wanted something to do.  I took lots of notes today which really helps my Spanish, and after school I helped in the store, did sit ups, got my school supplies together, covered books, Trudi came over and we went on a walk, ended up at her house, sat around and talked, then she went with me while I ran, then home to eat empanadas in the garden with my family.  Nothing interesting, yet, a perfect day because I was living a typical kids life, which is what I'm supposed to do here.  I'm not here to be a tourist, I'm here to be a student, and this was a typical day of a high school student, granted it wasn't the typical day of a Paraguayan student, yet it wasn't completely American, it was something in between, a happy median.  Now if only most of my days would be similar to this.  The key to outwitting boredom, is to plan ahead of all the things I want to do each day: play my guitar, work on Spanish, review notes, sit ups and run, write a letter or in journal, help in store, etc.  My three main goals on AFS is to learn Spanish good, get myself in great shape for Cross Country, and learn to play guitar really well.  I know I can do these things if I just apply myself, discipline.  All 3 of these things can be great sometimes, yet all of them can be tedious as well, I need to work hard through the tedious times. :)  Fun things.  This guy, Diego, who doesn't go to school (got expelled) and who drinks and seduces girls like Trudi.  And Trudi unfortunately like him back (he's gorgeous) and even more unfortunately Trudi's parents know all, and are very unhappy about it, they really don't like Diego, no girl's parentsin Caaguazu like Diego!  Last night at 9pm I got called over to Trudi's house to be an interpreter in this whole Diego schmeel.  It was quite funny.  Trudi would tell me Ask them why we can't just be friends, and then Trudi's parents (especially her dad, her mom was pretty cool through the whole deal) not a boyfriend, not a friend, he's bad, etc.  I was there for an hour.  And after all of that, when Trudi and I went to the sports center this afternoon, Diego was there, and I told him everything that happened, then I went off on my run, and Diego and Trudi talked (sort-of) the whole time.  Stupid girl!  Looking for trouble.

<3 Trudi told me that Frederick likes me, Swedish Romance!

The Boredom Begins : 17

5-III-94

I'm really bored here and it is very frustrating.  I kept thinking that as soon as school starts everything will be cool because I'll have something to do with myself.  But school is over by 11:30, I eat lunch by myself, and then I have from 12:15 on to fill up with activity.  But what to fill it up with, I don't know.  I don't have any homework, they don't need any help in the store, I can't go on runs by myself, but I can't find anyone to go with me, I'm not sure if the other girls ever do anything together after school, but I'm pretty sure they don't.  What?  What should I do with myself.  These empty days are making me unhappy.  I feel like I'm just wasting my time, where I know that if I was back at home, my days would be filled with happy activity.  This is a major problem, and I'm not sure how to deal with it, but I have plenty of free time to think it out!  Humor is good :)  Chin up Robin.  Think POSITIVE

Some Memories : 16

Commentary:  This page shows a butterfly I found dead on the ground and taped its wings onto the page.  Butterflies had a lot of symbolic significance for me at this time in my life.  I felt I was in my cocoon, developing myself to emerge later, magnificent!  There are some quotes on this page that I collected throughout my stay, funny things people say.  The list on the bottom is also a slow list made throughout my stay.  It lists the names of all the poems I wrote while in Paraguay.  At this point in my stay, only the first poem has been written.  I probably wrote most things on this page a few months down the line.

A drawing of the Backyard